Damaged reputations may not be easy to recover or repair. This is why it's so important to protect your reputation. Sometimes, the loss to your reputation is no fault of yours and sometimes it's your own mistake. Getting your good name back is not always easy – but it can be done with patience, determination, and perseverance.
EditSteps
EditGetting Rid of a Bad Reputation
- Accept that people might not forget. They may care less with time, but still remember. This doesn't mean fixing your reputation is impossible. Bad reputations are always potentially temporary. It all has to do with time. After some time, people stop caring so much about what you did in the past.
- Many people encounter their own failures and the failures of others over time. These stand out more, and they forget about you. Remember that you remember your own failures better than other people. Your bad reputation may be worse in your head than it is in the eyes of others.
- Research shows that, contrary to popular perception, when compared to other means of social evaluation, reputation matters measurably less than other factors.[1]
- Go off the grid and take a break from social media and online.[2]
- Talk to people about it. Be frank when addressing the issues surrounding your bad reputation. If you are calm, respectful, and genuinely concerned, they are likely to help you. By not verbally addressing the problem, you let people's imaginations run wild, and you give rumors free-range. [3]
- If someone is actively spreading news of your bad reputation, talk to them first.
- Ask friends their opinion on the matter.
- Try not to be defensive.
- Turn it into a strength.[4] Maybe your bad reputation is a superpower in disguise. Take some time to think about how your bad reputation may be a positive thing and reframe your perception of the situation. You might not be promiscuous, you could be in charge of your sexuality. If people think you play a sport too aggressively, maybe you're your team's heavy artillery.
- Change how others think. Sometimes you just need to control the perceptions of others. They may not be seeing the situation in the right light. If you can, help others to see the situation in an entirely different light.
- Provide a calculated positive perspective. This means finding ways to reframe events and actions that give you a bad reputation.[5] For example, sometimes people shame promiscuous behavior, while others present promiscuity as “owning your sexuality” or being “sex positive.” Think of ways you can help people see your actions in a new light.
- Be aware that you may not be able to sway everyone's opinions.
- Denounce accusations as lies. You may just need to say the reputation is not true. If you have been lied about, it may take some time to undo the damage. Be assertive[6] (not aggressive), and make sure you spread the word as soon as possible. Ask other people to help set the story straight. The longer this bad reputation exists, the harder it may become to manage it.
- Clarify any misunderstandings.
- Be vocal when challenging lies.
EditDeveloping a Good Reputation
- Do good deeds consistently. A quick way to improve your reputation is to do good deeds. Be careful: if you've recently developed a bad reputation, you might seem desperate or like you're overcompensating by doing a bunch of good deeds. This isn't a quick fix. You must do good deeds consistently for your reputation to improve, otherwise you risk seeming insincere. [7] It is hard and time consuming to build a reputation, but quick and easy to ruin it. Consistency is crucial to firmly establishing your reputation.
- Get your co-workers coffee, or offer to pick up a shift if they need time off.
- Offer your friends help, like a ride or a hand before they need to ask.
- Go out of your way to make sure people are feeling okay if you sense there might be something wrong.
- Volunteer. There are a great number of ways to volunteer your time. Care for the elderly or disabled, community gardens and events, as well as church-centered opportunities all are great ways to volunteer. Animal shelters are also great opportunities to help. By giving up your time in the service of others, you can do a great deal to improve your reputation.
- If you're still in school, see what sort of opportunities they can help you find. Many public schools and colleges offer different volunteer opportunities for students.
- Some businesses offer volunteering programs that may come with perks. Talk to your supervisor or HR department to see what sort of opportunities they provide.
- Give talks or lectures at a local school, organization, library or civic group on a topic you know and that would be helpful for others.
- Use the situation to learn. Become compassionate towards others with bad reputations. By being nice to those who are not thought well of, after having gained insight from your reputation experience, you can develop positive perceptions. Take the opportunity to see the people who have bad reputations around you that may be in need of a friend.
- Impress others. Go above and beyond.[8] Do something amazing. Learn to play a musical instrument. Win a scholarship or award. Run a marathon. By doing impressive things, you can improve how people view you. Respect from others can go a long way toward improving your reputation.
EditCreating Lasting Change
- Change parts of your life. External factors, such as friend groups, habits, and workplace can be part and parcel to how your reputation evolves. A toxic environment with toxic people and relationships may be the source of your problems. Take some time to consider whether or not you need to make some changes in the people and places of your life.
- If you have a bad reputation among friends, maybe it is time to spend time with different people. Maybe your friends are encouraging habits that make people think poorly of you.
- At work, toxic employment environments can create unreasonable expectations of people. A work environment which encourages an unhealthy work-life balance can make it seem that a hard working, dedicated individual is lazy. Examine your workplace culture, and think about whether or not a value clash is causing your reputation to suffer. You may want to find a new job.
- Change yourself. This can be a very difficult thing to accomplish. But when you see yourself through the eyes of others, and you don't like what you're looking at, make a change. Changing yourself is hard because we develop strong patterns and habits in life. However, by making big changes in your behavior, people will take notice. This will change how they see you, and it may cause others to re-evaluate their perceptions of you as a person.
- Seek professional help, such as a therapist or psychiatrist.
- Find a life coach or a spiritual guide to help you find ways to make internal changes.
- Avoid superficial changes. Superficial change is not the same as an authentic change. Inauthentic behavior is hard to keep consistent.[9] When you're not being authentic, people notice. Real change is harder than pretending to be different.
EditTips
- Give yourself enough time to make amends. Too often, we make a mistake and then want it to be immediately erased. Unfortunately, things don't work that way - that's why it's smart to protect your reputation carefully by being a person of good character.
- Remember that it's very hard to "prove a negative." When someone says you did something, it's hard for you to prove that you didn't do it, unless someone knows for certain (they were with you at the time you were supposed to have done this thing). Rather than trying to "prove or disprove" this incident, simply state your innocence and leave it at that. In the future, be very careful to demonstrate your good character, so that when people hear that you failed to do something, the first thing they think is, "That doesn't sound like Jay. Something must have come up, or there must be a good reason, if that's true."
- Once you've restored your reputation somewhat, protect it. Don't allow people to spread lies about you - but rather than just telling whoever told you about hearing an untrue thing about you, go and find the person who told that person. Root it out until you find the source of the untruths. Confront that person – usually it's most effective to simply ask why. "What have I done to earn your hate? Why are you saying this about me?" Once you know where it's coming from, you have a chance to put a stop to it entirely.
EditWarnings
- You can't make some things right. No apology will satisfy certain types of people – instead, they enjoy playing the victim and painting you as a villain. In those cases, it's best to move on.
EditRelated wikiHows
End a Bad Reputation As an Adult
EditSources and Citations
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