You have been playing with your hair since kindergarten; but now you have decided you would like to stop. Various types of hair playing such as twirling, pulling, and putting it behind your ears are very common among children and some adults. Changing this behavior can be a challenge, especially if it has developed into a habit, or an addictive or compulsive behavior. Through facing the problem square-on, self-distraction, and using different accessories and hairstyles, you can overcome it. Having these tools at your disposal will help free yourself from this struggle.
EditSteps
EditHandling Your Affliction
- Stay alert and aware of your behaviors. You may be playing with your hair without realizing it.[1] If you are trying to change a behavior you must stay present and aware of all your behaviors. You have prepared yourself to make a change and now you have the opportunity to follow through with your intent and gain confidence. [2]
- Slowing down and limiting the number of tasks you try to simultaneously perform will help you improve your awareness.
- Tell yourself things like, “Okay now, remember I am wide awake and paying attention and I’m not going to play with my hair.”
- Design a plan for change. Set a start date and identify all the action steps you will be taking to stop your habit. A well-laid plan will increase the likelihood of your success. You will have goals to achieve and ways to accomplish them.[3]
- Don’t leave anything up to guess work. You know what you want, and if you don’t know how to get it, you can and will figure it out.
- Determine the level of your affliction and need for help. Realize that playing with your hair is a common affliction, but it may have developed into an addiction. Most behaviors are measured on a continuum, which ranges from slight to moderate to severe addiction. If playing with your hair has become an uncontrollable habit that causes problems in your personal life, then perhaps it’s time to do something about it.
- Although you should rely upon a professional to render an official diagnosis, you can evaluate your behaviors and decide the level of care and action you would like to take. There may be instances when others may disagree with you and want you to take stronger action.
- On one end of the scale, you find mild cases that resolve on their own or require simple strategies to stop the habit.
- On the other end of the scale are conditions such as trichotillomania, a disorder that involves repeatedly pulling your hair out from your head, eyebrows or eyelashes. This extreme condition can leave a person with bald spots and skin irritations that interfere with daily life. This would affirm that you have an addiction and definitely need help to control or eliminate the behavior.[4]
- Extreme hair playing is often times associated with other disorders such as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), depression and anxiety.[5] It may be necessary to seek treatment for these other conditions, which may result in solving your hair playing addiction.
- Seek professional help if you are struggling with making a change. There are multiple resources available to you through groups such as, the American Psychological Association[6] and the American Psychiatric Association.[7] Help is available and could be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself.
- Introspection is the process of directly attempting to access your own internal processes.[8] When you figure out how and why you react the way you do to people and things around you, you will solve many personal struggles. Only you can do the work that it takes to find the answers to these questions. Analysis can be difficult, but it can put you on a clear path toward change.
- Getting the help you need is a brave and courageous thing to do. It will contribute to your desire to live a full and happy life. With the right tools, you can make that happen.
- Reward yourself when your plan is working. Every small success and large success is an accomplishment, and represents that change is happening. Identify those things that you find rewarding so you will be ready to celebrate. When you enjoy the intrinsic and extrinsic rewards of your hard work, it will motivate you to continue.[9]
- If you make it successfully through a particular event that would normally cause you to play with your hair, congratulate yourself. Even the smallest change is important to recognize.
EditDistracting Yourself
- Find healthy distractions. When you feel the urge to play with your hair, redirect yourself. Select activities that require you to be focused, but not to the point that you lose awareness of your hair playing behavior. Activities such as reading, playing a video game, watching a movie, and writing may be activities that increase the likelihood of your hair playing. Playing a game outdoors or taking your dog for a walk can be great distractions.
- Some activities, thoughts and feelings may increase your urge to play with your hair. If you catch yourself immediately say, “Stop," then find a substitute activity. For example, if you are talking to someone and you start to play with your hair, grab a pen to hold, or even sit on your hands.[10]
- Observe the number of times you need to distract yourself from playing with your hair. This will help you understand the severity of your habit.[11] You will likely notice a high frequency in the beginning stages; but that leaves a lot of room for celebrating your improvements.
- Keep both hands busy to prevent you from playing with your hair. There are a lot of possibilities such as baking a cake, playing a sport, making something from metal or wood, frosting some cookies, shopping for clothing, building a rock garden, painting with both hands (give it a try), doing handstands, grooming your pet, or playing a musical instrument, etc.
- Not only will you stop playing with your hair, but you could have a lot of fun too.
- Find new and exciting things to do that you’ve never done before. Be adventurous. You may discover a new and rewarding interest.
- Worry stones may help you dispel the nervous energy that is causing you to play with your hair. These are smooth stones that are made for you to play with and rub. They have also been successfully used to help smokers deal with fidgeting as they quit smoking.[12] You can find them online or in some health or new age stores.
- Assess your anxiety or boredom levels. Playing with your hair can be a sign that you feel anxious or bored, which means it's important to deal with the cause rather than take it out on your hair. If you're feeling anxious, there are many calming techniques you could try. Talking to someone who will lend an ear, will help you process your feelings. If you are bored, then find a way to entertain yourself.
- Try meditation or yoga, which will help you focus on your breath and will teach you to be calm.[13]
- Find other soothing behaviors that will help you manage your anxiety. Simply talking to yourself (out loud or silently) in a positive way will help. Tell yourself, “I’m safe and I am taking care of myself and everything is going to be okay, and I don’t need to play with my hair.”[14]
- A sure cure for boredom is to get busy doing the things you need to do. Make a list and check off each item as you complete it.
EditUsing Hair Accessories
- Wear fun and stylish hats. Making changes like this, even if temporary, could immediately help break the habit of hair playing and help in the long term as well. Essentially, this will block your hands from reaching the area on your head where you repeatedly play with your hair. There are many alternatives when it comes to hats. You may find that some styles fit you better than others. A knit cap may fit you better than a cowboy or baseball cap. Choose the ones that make you feel comfortable.
- Use hair bows and barrettes to style and control your hair. If you pin your hair down, then you won’t be able to play with it. Place these accessories strategically to gather your hair, and pull or push it away from the area of concern. Get creative and you might just start the next new fashion trend in hair accessories.
- Cover your hair with a scarf or bandana. Completely covering your head will eliminate any chance of playing with your hair. Each time you touch the scarf or bandana, you will be reminded that you are trying to make a positive change. If you can withstand the urge to pull off the scarf or bandana, you will experience a significant amount of “play-free” time.
EditChanging Your Hair
- Braid your hair to pull it away from your face. Simple changes, although temporary, help to break habits and assist in making long term changes in your behavior. If you can relocate strands of hair that can be played with, your hands won't find anything to do. This can trigger a mental reminder to stop trying to play with your hair. When you commit to braiding your hair, you can’t play with it because it will loosen and ruin the braid.
- A ponytail or bun will work well. Keeping it off your shoulders and away from swinging in your face will remove the temptation to play.
- Hair stylists can help you find a style that will keep temptation to a minimum.[15] In particular, keeping the hair off your face, out of reach, or styled using a lot of hair product will prevent unwanted hair playing. The desire to keep your hairstyle looking its best can be enough to stop you.
- Cut your hair. If a shorter or more layered look is what you want, then make the change. Shaving your hair would be extreme; but if you like the look of it, you might love it.
- There are charitable organizations that use donated hair to make wigs for cancer patients who have lost hair due to chemotherapy. You can donate your hair to this type of program, which will help others and help you as well.[16]
- Color your hair. A simple change in color might be exciting. It can make you feel better about yourself, or see yourself in a more positive way. A change in scenery might be just want you need to get motivated.
- If the “new you” wants to stop playing with her hair, pick a new hair color and create a new picture for the world to see. It could be quite a cathartic experience.[17]
EditTips
- Be kind to yourself. Change can be difficult.
- Reassure yourself that your hair looks great.
- Stay in the present moment to avoid mentally wandering into unwanted behavior.
EditWarnings
- Excessive hair playing may lead to permanent hair loss and other skin related conditions.
- Addictions of any kind should be monitored and taken seriously.
EditRelated wikiHows
EditSources and Citations
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